"Admit your mistakes without beating yourself up." -Iyanla Vanzant
This has been a hard one for me over the years. What about you? In my younger years, I was very defensive because I was very insecure. I was always seeking validation outside myself because I didn’t know any better. That made talking about my mistakes too big of a risk. On top of that, there was a very critical part of me that was quick to jump in, and pounce on myself in a very judgmental way.
About a decade ago, I came across a song called “You Are More” by Tenth Ave. North—and some of the lyrics really spoke to me. I share part here:
“You are more than the choices that you make.
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
You are more than the problems you create.
You’ve been remade.”
Through our life journey, healing through recovery work, and with the help of our Higher Power—we are “remade.” What a magnificent truth to hold onto!
As part of becoming “remade,” I had to be brought to the place where I realized I was “self-loathing” before I could begin the process of discovering how to love myself. In turn, that healing deepened my ability to believe the real truth within. Admitting mistakes then became easier, but the self judgement clung. Bit by bit, the critical part inside of me softened. Over time, I have learned to pay more attention to the truths inside, instead of always beating myself up.
We are all able to change patterns and false beliefs in our lives while opening to the deeper truths within. And, regardless of our choices, mistakes, and problems we sometimes create—another magnificent truth to hold onto is—we are always worthy of love.
Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist for RI in Arizona. She has experienced loss and grief which has led her to write for the masses to bring voice to those in similar situations. Cheri possesses a deep passion to share with, encourage, and inspire others on what she calls the Journey of the Heart.