I don’t know about you, but I’ve not always understood my own anger. Regrettably, I’ve had displaced anger and projected it onto others. I’ve also had some valid reasons to be angry—not just for me, but for others too. It took me years (with the support of others guided by Loving Presence) to have more understanding of the anger within me.

Aside from the anger that I needed to heal from and change my response to, there were definitely parts of me “mad as hell sometimes” at the injustices that happened to me and those that I witnessed. I can look back today and be glad that anger existed because it empowered me to act as I advocated for myself and others.

When my nonverbal, quadriplegic son, Micah, was alive I developed ways to use my anger appropriately to advocate, protect the vulnerable, and voiceless. When I would see injustices, I would speak up. I also realized that there were people who would never speak up (or didn’t know how) in the same situations I was in with my son. I used to tell the case manager that I was not only advocating for Micah, but for the community of people in the same situation. I often used this phrase when advocating: “This is not acceptable, there must be another way.” I would push, dig further, and keep seeking to find other ways and supports. I would get angry and exhausted due to the sheer effort it took to do this.

It was love that motivated me to keep advocating —a deep love for this precious boy that was given to me. I would think: “What if it were me in his position and what would I want someone to do for me?” This was not overnight work. It was a long-haul. However, I would do it again because the power of love is a mighty force when used appropriately. Love kept me marching on, and I did my best to overcome all the situations we faced. Above all, I know that love matters. Find where your anger meets love and ask how it can move you to march on and overcome—not just for you, but for others too!

Cheri Thomas

Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist at Recovery Innovations. She writes as an expression of her heart in hopes of connecting to others’ hearts, so that no one feels alone on this journey-and instead feels valued, seen, and heard while growing in empowerment.