We hear a lot about gratitude, but do we think of it as a choice? It’s wonderful if you are someone that finds it easy to always have something to be grateful for. However, I do talk to callers on our warmline that feel there is nothing to be grateful for.

Our RCL is led by Keawe Lucero. One recovery tool he gave to use with our callers is simple; we ask them to tell us three things that are “going well” for them. Sometimes (depending on the caller) I will word it, three “feel good moments! This is a tough exercise for some. They really feel there is nothing going well or any moment of feeling good. We get to support them through that and work collaboratively together to find something. It does work – we don’t always get to three, but we don’t go away empty-handed. I always have a “trick up my sleeve” because if I am talking to them on the warmline-then I have one to pull out for sure. They have our warmline to call so that is one thing going well for them!

I remember times in my own life that I felt so low that someone had to work hard with me to get me to say one gratitude without a “but” to it. I did not consciously think about it then, but I was being shown how to “choose” gratitude-to “see” there was something going well, or “recognize” some feel good moment (even if it was only for a moment!).

These moments can be hidden in plain sight. For example, a caller who was going through a lot of grief could not produce anything. So, we talked about the moment was within her grief. Without the love with/for this person, she never would have been grieving. And, feeling the deep love for this person in the present counted as a “feel good moment.”

Even in the times of deepest darkness there is something to be grateful for if we choose to be open to becoming aware of it. It may be a slow crawl in the beginning, and it is ok if we need someone to help us see. There will be the more obvious feel goods and others will be hidden in plain sight. However, the more we choose to recognize them-the more magic appears and the darkness increasingly lightens up.

Cheri Thomas

Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist for RI in Arizona. She has experienced loss and grief which has led her to write for the masses to bring voice to those in similar situations. Cheri possesses a deep passion to share with, encourage, and inspire others on what she calls the Journey of the Heart.