Fury! Anguish! The unfairness of it all!

There was a period of time that I had so much anger coming to the surface to heal that I told my therapist, “I am eating anger for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!” Have you ever felt this way?

One particular day, I was beside myself with anger. I chose to walk it out. I beat feet to the outside and all I heard was the crunch of the ground under my feet as I walked in a rage. I was telling Loving Presence exactly how I felt as my feet punched the ground—“You see this situation! You know my heart! Help me!” I didn’t think I could walk fast enough or pray hard enough to work this out of my body.

Then, in my rage, something happened—along came a butterfly. Most of the time I only catch a glimpse of a butterfly as it passes by in flight. Not this day. The only way I can describe it is that I had an experience with this butterfly. I became very present with it and felt it engaged with me. I talked and smiled at it while taking multiple pictures as I joyfully followed it from flower to flower until it flew away.

Love met me in the pain and fury I was feeling; I was seen, heard, and helped by this experience. Although it didn’t “fix” the situation, I had shifted in those moments with the beautiful butterfly. During the time I was present with it, I wasn’t thinking about the enraging situation. Instead, it gave me some space from it and enabled me to get out of my head and into my heart again. The anger subsided and I began to feel soothed, and calmed. My breathing regulated and my feet relaxed their stride.

By the time I got home, I was in a much better place to deal with the unpleasant situation I still faced. I also felt such gratitude for the soothing experience with the butterfly. Nature truly had gifted me.

Cheri Thomas

Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist for RI in Arizona. She has experienced loss and grief which has led her to write for the masses to bring voice to those in similar situations. Cheri possesses a deep passion to share with, encourage, and inspire others on what she calls the Journey of the Heart.