“Unable to perceive the shape of you -I find you all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with your love. It humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.” —Shape of Water
How, and what, does your heart perceive? Grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss. At the time of my son Micah’s physical death, I had a firm belief that the body dies, but the spirit lives on. Losing my child, compelled me to “see beyond the veil” in a way nothing had before. I also believed Love never dies. The love between us was not in question as our lives were so intertwined through love. Yet, how did this work after physical death?
For a long time I would walk through the empty house and repeat, “You are gone, you’re really, really gone!”
At times, during this walking and repeating of his being “gone,” I would start sobbing until I fell to the floor. I missed kissing him, hearing his hearty laugh, touching his beautiful head of thick hair, playing our silly games, on and on. Gone, gone, all gone! Alongside this, was a knowing I could feel deep in my bones that he was with me. It didn’t make sense, but it was very real. I couldn’t figure it out, but the heart perceived it. It started out small, like my heart feeling Micah when watching a bunny on a walking trail. Or, a time when a butterfly clearly was teasing me like Micah loved to do. More and more and more experiences came.
As the experiences mounted, the evidence became clear and the veil between worlds thinned. Micah and I communicated through nature, animals, songs, dreams, meditation, feathers, people who had gifts that bridged the worlds. All of this was possible through one, and only one source: Love!
Even though my desire to know was great, it took me a long time to see. It took time for the heart to open space to become aware of experiences I was having. The window between my heart and Micah‘s heart never closed. Our love found a way to continue to manifest in a real way of knowing, feeling, and sensing through the heart. He has shown me unequivocally that love does not die!
What has your heart perceived? Embrace it! Own it! Treasure it in your heart, where it started, and it never ends!
Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist for RI in Arizona. She has experienced loss and grief which has led her to write for the masses to bring voice to those in similar situations. Cheri possesses a deep passion to share with, encourage, and inspire others on what she calls the Journey of the Heart.