I’m sure you are getting used to my “real” by now but this post is going to be a little raw. Bear with me.

I just completed my Masters in Social Work and there is no joy in it right now. I have been struggling with guilt and regret since my Dad died in June 2021. All I can think about is the vacations I missed, the times I had to say I couldn’t come help him, and the calls or texts that went unanswered throughout my two and a half years of work, school, and internships. Right now I’m struggling to shake off that past and look into the future I have now because of the sacrifices my whole family made. I’m opening a door into tomorrow and living my dream of changing the world.

It’s painful. Sometimes unbearably painful but I’m starting to think it’s not about the times I missed with my Dad, about the loss I’m feeling, or the degree at all. Maybe it’s about my focus and that’s what makes the biggest difference. My husband asked me the other day what I wanted my life to be. I had to ask if he wanted my dream answer or my achievable answer and his response was “They are the same thing.”

I want to change the world. I want to be someone who impacts every life around me. And not for me but just to make the world, the people and life somehow easier or better. That’s it. My focus, our focus has to change. I’m fighting my way out of this deep, dark, cold regret and guilt-filled place. That’s how this quote is making a difference in my perspective. Realizing that yes, I have a past of regrets and lost moments but I have 100% of my life left to take advantage of and live my hopes and dreams.

No matter what happened yesterday, you have a lifetime of todays and tomorrows. We all do. There is 100% of our lives left. Let’s use them well.

Sarah Deats

Sarah Deats is the Hope Inc. Stories Inspiration Engineer. Her goals are to make a connection with everyone that she can while building community, spreading hope, and sparking change. She believes that while life may not be easy, it is never lived alone.