“Those who are hardest to love need it the most.” –Socrates
Everyone comes across that person in their lifetime. Maybe it’s a family member, the guy honking incessantly behind you at the light, or you are a person others currently find hard to love.
I know I’ve been that person. Honestly, right now I may be hardest to love. It is because I don’t feel safe in the world. I’ve been floundering for a while, especially with my Dad gone. He was my protector, my person. He loved me through everything and I will always ache with the emptiness of love lost here on earth. I’ve built up walls now to protect myself. I’m afraid of losing more in my world. I know it will happen – it’s part of life – but today I can’t allow closeness. So I have barriers up that make me hard to love. But I can tell you, I still need that love. Even if it seems like I can’t accept it or I don’t appreciate it.
It’s because of my own life experience that I have the career, lifestyle, and perspective that I do. I know what it is to be hurting, lost, and how it feels to be rescued by the unexpected love passed to me from the most random of places. I’m in Social Work but more than that I am Social Work. I see the injustices, I’m always on the battle field and I read everyone around me to note their situation so I can fill the gaps as needed. I, much like many of you, love the unlovable. Because at the end of the day, no matter the barrier, the self-protection, the harsh demeanor… We know that love is desperately needed.
If you see someone, know someone, experience someone who is just seemingly impossible to love… take the extra time. Make the tiniest bit of extra effort. Even the greatest of barriers can be breeched and the heart of the deeply wounded can be healed. Don’t let our Ogre exterior fool you. Inside we are scared, wounded and hollow. We just can’t let you see.
To those of us in the state of being “unlovable”… We see you. You matter. You are worthy.
Sarah Deats is the Hope Inc. Stories Inspiration Engineer. Her goals are to make a connection with everyone that she can while building community, spreading hope, and sparking change. She believes that while life may not be easy, it is never lived alone.