Curiosity caused me to start a list (that barely scratched the surface) of areas in which I’ve started all over again. Here’s a few: growing up my family moved eight times—then I moved 11 times after that, and lived in four states. I had two miscarriages and carried four children to term. I’ve been associated with nine different religions. I’ve had countless formal and informal educational experiences. And, that doesn’t mention any of the internal ways I’ve started all over again; that’s something I can’t imagine recounting.

What’s on your list?

There’s much to learn from starting all over again (and again). There are obvious insights like: we are not quitters, we become flexible and courageous, we learn resilience and persistence, we’re teachable, and much more. However, there’s something learned through all of the starting over that I couldn’t really grasp for several decades. I used to think life was either/or. Things seemed either good or bad, happy or sad, etc. The innumerable “starting all over again’s” have taught me it was really both/and all along. Either/or is limiting, whereas both/and is expansive.

My awareness of both/and began to solidify during an extremely dark period of my life. It coincided with needing to write to express what was unfolding in my heart (excerpt below.) My hope for-and encouragement to-you is that you will hold on to the expansiveness both/and brings into your life, because… “there’s horizons yet to see!”

“Precipitated by the unwelcomeness of all the losses, I was left with both a horrifying blank slate and, in time, the collateral beauty from the losses gave me the resources to slowly and organically create. It was both the darkest night of my soul, and I clung to hope. It was both the most terrifying combination of experiences I’ve ever encountered in my life and new life–giving awarenesses entered in. It was both the stripping away of all certainty I felt I had in my life, and the building of deeper faith and trust.

Both exist together. There isn’t a day without pain on some level and there isn’t a day without a Higher Purpose at work. I am grateful for both/and, for they have been my teachers.”

Cheri Thomas

Cheri works as a Peer Support Specialist for RI in Arizona. She has experienced loss and grief which has led her to write for the masses to bring voice to those in similar situations. Cheri possesses a deep passion to share with, encourage, and inspire others on what she calls the Journey of the Heart.